I beat dead horses….

Being Real, Love

Okay, before you get all bent out of shape, I do NOT mean literally. I have never seen a dead horse. If I had, I would probably still be standing over it crying hysterically. But I have not seen one. So no, I can’t say I’ve actually beat a dead horse, but sometimes, I do not know when to shut up.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t beat a dead horse”? I just did a Google search for it (by the way, I had on idea flogging a dead horse was a thing…), according to Merriam-Webster, beat a dead horse means: 1) to keep talking about a subject that has already been discussed or decided; 2) to waste time and effort trying to do something that is impossible. That is SOOOO me.

Today, the man I love, can we call him Jamie? Ok, I am going to call him that. Jamie and I were talking and he told me to let something go, to not keep on. My response: “I beat dead horses.” He had never heard the saying before, so imagine what must have gone through his head when he read that. Y’all, I am obsessive in my thoughts. I will overthink, overthinking. I obsess think. And I absolutely can NOT let anything go. Not until I am sure I fully understand every little detail. I don’t care about the big details, but I will obsess over whether or not the horse was laying on his or her left side or right side when said beating occurred. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME (and Jamie too)!!!!

I don’t know if any of you guys do this or not, but I am pretty sure it is rooted, at least for me, in trust issues. If you say the horse was on the right side, but something in your story makes me think it might have been on it’s left side, I will NOT let it go. To me, that discredits the entire story. I begin to wonder was there even a horse, and if so, was it dead to start with for sure? I obsess.

I’m just like the average minivan, soccer mom. Okay, that’s a lie. I don’t have a minivan and my kids have not played soccer in many years. Did I mention I obsess? I am being upfront about that because it’s what fuels me to write, to think, to analyze, to dig further into Scripture, and study God’s Word, to meditate on the Word. It’s what makes me, ME. I will try to keep all the details, minus location and names, clear. I can’t tell you the horses name, or where it was at, but it was definitely beaten after it was dead. In case there is one person out there that is like me, I don’t want them to get lost in one detail. Best way I know how to prevent that is openness and honesty. So many people these days are fake. We are so caught up in being the next best social media mom, in having the next viral video, or displaying the perfect house and family, that we have lost our uniqueness, our personalities, our openness, our creativity – we just want to be like everyone else. Why do we do that to ourselves? It’s torture (almost as bad as my obsessive thinking).

Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. Philippians 4:8 Amplified Bible (AMP)

I had a very best friend, who I respected greatly. He was the kind of friend that you definitely did not want to ask if you looked fat in something, because he would tell you honestly. And it didn’t phase him to be that raw and honest. If he told you that you looked like a cow, the next sentence he would carry on like nothing happened. To him, being honest came naturally. I remember I was going through a bad breakup and he told me basically something like what did I expect, and then proceeded to tell me about myself. Ouch. I didn’t call him anymore for sympathy. But – I appreciated his honesty. I respected his honesty. It helped me grow as a woman, as a friend, as a mom, as a coworker, and as a boss. Unfortunately, due to circumstances in our lives, our friendship ended, but to this day, I carry great love and respect for him.

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute, whatever is excellent and worthy of praise, focus your thoughts always on these things. Keep these in your heart. Phil 4:8

My prayer is we could all be honest and find how to respect and love through it. People don’t have to agree with you or be just like you for you to respect them and love them. Truth has never hurt anyone. But that horse was definitely dead before the beating began….so to stop beating dead horses, I have to focus my thinking on what is pure and true and lovely and worthy of respect and praise. Meditate on the Word of God.

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